Tuesday, July 18, 2006

self reliance?

what ever happened to self reliance? no one does anything for themselves anymore. how many people that you know change their own oil, or mow their own lawn, or paint their own house... the list is almost endless.
i can't tell you how people react when i tell them that i do almost everything myself. brakes on my car. paint my house. put in a new sidewalk and steps. build new kitchen cabinets. mitral valve ring annuloplasty and valve flap repair.
ok, so i don't do my own cardiac surgery, but my point is that everyone seems so amazed that i do so many things myself.
then i realized that little by little, our self reliance has been subverted without our even realizing. it started small with advertising and 'suggestive marketing', and now most people even let 'the media god' tell them who to idolize, and who is a survivor. not only do people buy into the hype, but they embrace it, they relish in it and take great pride in knowing every detail of what happened on the last installment of 'the apprentice'.
i don't think that this was quite the idea that jefferson and franklin had in mind when they penned the phrase 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness'.

somewhere in new england, ralph waldo and henry david are spinning in their graves.......

Sunday, July 16, 2006

hear no evil...

you know what really bugs me? when i hear stupid humans say something really really stupid like 'if humans evolved from monkeys like darwin said, then how come there are still monkeys around.

how stupid can you get and not be in the whitehouse.

first of all, uncle charlie never ever said that humans evolved from simians. he said that present day humans evolved from a less intelligent more primal - 'ape-like' creature if you will, but not from any ancestor of present day apes. what that means stupid humans is that somewhere about 65 million years ago your distant relative was more like a majestic ape, and less like say, rush limbaugh.

it is an embarassment to your brother primates to insinuate that you evolved from us. certain members of your species would be an embarassment to any generae or phyla.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

monkey see, monkey don't do...

why is it that you never see a monkey build a fence around the watering hole and try to keep other animals and other monkeys from drinking 'their' water. or build a fence around the best banana tree and keep the other monkeys from getting the 'good' bananas. if monkeys are lesser evolved than humans, how come it is the humans running around the streets shooting and killing each other over stupid things like little gold rocks, or stuff that you put into a thing that you light on fire and suck the smoke into your lungs. why are the humans so concerned with other humans like that casino guy with the bad hair who is always saying 'you're fired' or talentless human females who change their fur color and mate with other talentless human males who serve no purpose to the troop. monkeys don't concern themselves with other monkeys' business or personal affairs. monkeys don't kill other monkeys*. even if they would, they wouldn't swing past their tree and spray their family with bullets, injuring innocent by-hangers. i thought that the humans were suppposed to be the more highly evolved ones....

* on rare occasions, there have been cases of monkey on monkey violence, but it is truely the exception, and not the rule.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

army of the twelve monkeys

that's right, i am back. from the future or the past, i can't quite tell. all i know is that my home has been invaded by a small band of wild primates. there must be at least 12 judging from the current and on-going level of chaos. i have no solution or even any theories as to how to deal with this new unexpected challenge.....